My Stand-up Aspirations

Sexuality is a messed up thing:

I get excited every time I see his man boobs! Gay or Straight?

My Stand-up Aspirations: Valentine's day

It's Valentine's day again. I've been single a while now(almost 2 weeks!) so this year I'm gonna buy a gift for those who have stuck with me for the past couple of months:

I'm going to buy a moisturising cream for my hands and a card that reads:

"Guys, We've had a rough year together: We shared a lot of joy, and a lot of pain! Soon I have to say goodbye(I hope so!) but I want you to know that I had the best time ever with you two!

Love,

Mx"

My Stand-up Aspirations!

My name sounds like shit in Spanish! What kind of parent would name their kid "shit"? Did someone ask my mom & dad "So have you chosen a name yet for our little princess?", looking at me the only thing they could think of was "Oh, Shit! No!!! (and he's a boy you b****)".

I'm just happy I wasn't named after my grandpa, I would have been "Wanker Nateghian Jr."!